The Mid-Winter Blues

(Originally published February 24, 1982)

How to beat the "doldrums" or the "mid-winter blues".  I really don't know, but my common sense tells me to do something constructive - it makes the dreary days go by faster. I noticed an advertisement expounding the virtues of wallpaper and how "for a few cents" you could transform any room in your home into a "fairyland". Well, human nature being what it is, I envisioned myself as the most creative person to walk the earth since Michael Angelo painted the Sistine Chapel and proceeded to assemble the required materials. After spending a few more "CENTS" than my budget had originally allowed, I suddenly realized "I don't know how to wallpaper," and it would be too humiliating to return to where the supplies were purchased and admit this . . . so, the search began for the information I so desperately needed.

At first shyly, and then slyly, I queried my friends, family for the knowledge they possessed on "going around corners" and so forth, when it suddenly dawned on me, "these people weren't giving their secrets away." If I wanted to pursue this, it was going to be by trial and error or get the information from a book. A BOOK!! Why didn't I think of that sooner - everything you ever want to know is in a "BOOK" someplace. (Up to this time my envisioned "fairyland" was becoming more of a monster case).

How smug I felt as I sat down to read my coveted copy of  "THE ABC'S OF WALLPAPERING". The ABC's I could understand thoroughly, it was the XYZ's the book didn't tell me about that got me into trouble. For example: Never cut around the electrical outlet with a long handled butcher knife (none with a metal handle) - (The doctor said I was very lucky, especially since I was standing in a puddle of water that had dripped out of the sponge I was using to mop up the spilled paste). Never, and I mean NEVER set your bucket of paste on the floor when you have an animal in the house. (We hope the dog will be out of intensive care tomorrow and as soon as the bloat in his stomach goes down, we can bring him home). Last, but not least, NEVER lay your last roll of wallpaper anywhere near the fireplace (especially if you have one of those log rollers that transform old newspapers into tightly rolled logs for burning) - I didn't get too mad at that, it is hard to distinguish between a hand-made newspaper log and a roll of wallpaper.

ALL THINGS ACCOUNTED FOR - it didn't turn out too badly. The job did cost a little more than I had anticipated, with the vet's bill, doctor's house call and an extra roll of wallpaper, but I must say the electrician was reasonable, those two outlets needed rewiring anyway. The room is beautiful (a real FAIRYLAND), the dog is OK, but he growls a lot when left in the newly papered room alone, and I hope to have the loan paid off by next winter when I can get CONSTRUCTIVELY CREATIVE again.

-Granny