Dust

(Originally published April 25, 1984)

I guess dust has affected our lives ever since God reached down for a handful of dust and created man. Soon after He condemned the serpent to crawl on his belly forever and from that time to this, woman has spent a good deal of her time with a feather duster in one hand and some kind of broom in the other.

I remember reading in history books about how the pioneer women dusted and swept the hearth and kept the home fires burning while the men all dusted their boots and headed for California. The gold dust fever had bitten them and many died still dreaming of finding their fortunes in the untamed west.

Somewhere in the back of my memory is a mention of the dust bowl and if you've ever lived in or crossed across Kansas, no doubt, you've seen the results of deadly dust storms.

For gardeners, a lot of time is spent in controlling insects and some gardeners feel it is essential to dust the vegetables to keep from being plagued all year. Years ago on the farm, I delighted in watching the chickens flutter their feathers through the dust in order to rid themselves of mites.

A dusting my mother practiced was on the seat of my blue jeans whenever I misbehaved. A method still used by parents today. As a young married woman, some of my most vivid memories are of the day the coal arrived to be scooped or dumped into the coal bin. I would prepare the house by putting dampened towels over all of the furnace ducts and on the basement door to try to keep the choking, offensive coal dust from filtering through. Some always made it and I've spent a lot of time cleaning up the black dust. Wives of concrete workers contend with concrete dust in the same way and washdays are always a challenge for them.

A dangerous dust was turned into dollars when people sold small bags to collectors everywhere after Mt. St. Helens blew her top a few years ago. Now I've cussed dust, discussed dust, and personally have no lust for dust.

There's a ritual handed down from generation to generation of women that we perform at least every fall and spring. The dust bunnies accumulated dust and the dust streaks disappear in a cloud of dust behind brooms and dust rags, swept into dust pans and sucked up by the dust buster. When the dust all settles, we will stand in our dust caps and aprons, victorious over dust once again and able to pass the white glove test for the rest of this week, anyway.

Till next week - well, that's another story.

-GRANNY

Newspapers

I just don't see how anyone can get along without newspapers. They are probably the most appreciated item around the house - though not necessarily for what is printed on their pages.

Since the first daily newspaper was published in Philadelphia in 1774, the American housewife has been unable to find a better substitute. Every mother knows the value of a rolled up newspaper for swatting the behinds of unruly children - potty training the dog - and chasing creepy crawly things out of the kitchen. What else lines dresser drawers so nicely, then makes you want to faint when you discover the paper you are removing from the drawers was printed over thirty years ago?

Grandma was never without her neatly folded newspaper fan on a hot day - after mopping the kitchen floor and spreading paper to keep it clean.

When our family spent weekends at the old fishing cabin, newspapers were a must. Not only did we start the fire with them, but stuffed cracks in the wall to keep the wind out and covered cots with a few layers to keep the cold off our spines. (This was called "having a good time"...)

I wouldn't know how to transport all my valuable dishes from house to house, at moving time, without good old newspapers for the wrapping. Windows shine sparkling clean when wiped with newspapers - especially ones that have smeary ink.

In emergencies, newspapers serve for tablecloths, blankets - you can really keep warm under a layer or two - paper hats keep the sun off your nose and even an emergency diaper can be provided by newspaper (probably the first disposable type.)

Animal trainers use tons of paper. Christmas packages wrapped in the "funnies" serve the purpose and I have even seen some pretty good wallpaper jobs done in newsprint.

There are, mind you, a few hazards connected to newspapers. If you don't keep them stirred up and in use all the time, they ten to be rather prolific and multiply. I have seen a small pile of papers bloom overnight into tall pillars that resemble the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  A lot of credit for making a newspaper what it is today goes to the old country doctor. According to the movies, the first thing he did upon arriving at his patients house, was to boil water and assemble clean newspapers.

I hope this little article will help you find uses for your backlog of newspapers. If all else fails, you can always bundle them up and return them to the paper company, where they start their "Life Process" all over again.

-GRANNY

Easter Fashion

The shops here in town are displaying all of the latest styles to entice us into buying our special outfit for Easter this year. Big girls and little girls alike look forward to shopping and dressing up for that special day.

These days, anyone who is anyone has their names on a fashion line. Vanderbilt, Sassoon, Carson, Levi and Beane just to name a very few.

For many people, the old tradition of new clothes for Easter is a little more challenging because of low funds or no money to spare for special "duds." Here are a few hits on how to "Dress for Less":

Many a "Sharp Sal" dresses from source that could be called Second Hand Sue. The "Salvation Army Store" offers clothing for the whole family at greatly reduced prices.

The "Church Basement Clothes Closet" also has varied selection, but takes a little more time sorting through things. "Mother's Closet" is always available and is an excellent source and just my size!

Drawing upon the family again,  I find that "Sister's Trades" offers a wide variety, having four natural sisters with which to sway. If you don't have natural sisters, you could cultivate a few just for that purpose.

A "Friend's Lend" is a real help in an emergency. The dreaded "Hand Me Down" is frightening fashion for the youngest child in a large family, but very helpful for mom.

The "Garage Sale Goodie" has helped to enlarge many a wardrobe. Many women are their own fashion designers and manage to do most of their family's sewing, also. There are even specially made tags, to sew into your own creation, declaring "Made Especially For Me By Me."

Let's not forget the fads. Camouflaged by Army, Navy Surplus and "Early Attic Treasures" that emerge from attics or estate sales and described as "Vintage Clothing."

The last fad is one I've chosen for my Easter outfit and I expect to knock your hat off and pop your eyes dressed as a "Punk Rocker!"

-GRANNY

Empty Jar Days

(Originally published April 14, 1983)

Most days are pleasant and I really enjoy them. Very seldom do I pray for the sun to go down early, but it seems every once in a while I have what I call my "empty jar days." You know, like the fellow on TV, in the salad dressing commercial? When he finally gets the jar, it's empty. Sometimes I think the advertisers made that commercial after following me around the house.

Whenever I want a tall sparkling glass of iced tea, there are no ice cubes. The trays are always in place in the freezer, but void of the "hard stuff."

What happens to the rubber bands I so faithfully save off each newspaper or bunch of onions and hang on the faucet of the kitchen sink? Guess I forgot how important rubber bands are to a paper wad fight.

When I finally get my turn in the bathroom, what do I find? Usually nothing but the empty tissue holder - the last one being used to T.P. someone's house. The soap always is in such small slivers even Tom Thumb couldn't wash behind his ears with it. A steam roller would be hard pressed to get one more drop of toothpaste from the tube.

The last Band-Aid is holding up the latest poster of some rock group. And today, I even perked yesterday's coffee grounds when unbeknownst to me, my last can was volunteered so the bake sale committee could have something to drink.

As you can tell, I am about to get on my soap box, which incidentally is empty too. I am in favor of a law compelling the person in the household who uses the last of anything to either replace it, like the water in the ice-cube trays, or leave a note alerting the "go for" in this house. I had better get to a store and stock up again. Well, you guessed it, whoever used the car last left the tank as dry as the Sahara Desert. Now that really takes the cake, or it would have, but I didn't get to finish making it.

Who used the last egg and left the empty carton in the refrigerator??

-GRANNY

The Mysteries of Life

(Originally published April 11, 1984)

Ah, sweet mysteries of life! The most asked question of 1984, and we've heard it on the lips of everyone from an eighty year old grandmother to the leading political candidates of today asking, "Where's the Beef?"  Now that seems an easy one compared to a lot of questions I've heard.

"Why are flies called flies?" is a pretty obvious one: Because they fly! "What makes rabbits hop and squirrels run?" was a little harder, but I let God answer a lot of those nature questions by reading the creation section of Genesis over and over. By reading the dictionary, searching through pages of the encyclopedia, and making the best use of the public library's reference books, many questions have gotten answers finally.

There are many questions we may never know the answers to, no matter how hard we try.

"How much do we budget for groceries this month?" is one sticky one and "how many pair of eyeglasses will we have to buy this year?" "Why was our electric bill so high this month when our lights were off for a whole week during a power failure?"

Another good one is "how much will college cost when Junior needs to go?" And "how will we pay for it?" - is a real doosey!

Night people ask how a day person can get up before dawn with our eyes and minds open, ready to meet the day, happily. One of the best answers to many deep questions is, "God didn't mean for us to know a lot of things, our minds aren't as big as His, to hold all of that information." (Good, huh?)

There is one questions that is answered in my mind every day, sooner or later. When every member of the family asks me, at different times of the day the most unanswered question in all of time, "What's for dinner?" I've nearly burned up my brain looking everyday for the answer to that one!

-GRANNY

Spring Weather

(Originally published April 7, 1983)

Isn't this a wild spring? The strange weather seems to affect everyone. I am so confused I don't know whether to take an umbrella and rowboat to work or use the sled and skis.

Even the Easter bunny had problems. He finally made it to our house. I caught a glimpse of him - poor thing. He was clutching a life jacket, snorkel and floatation pillow in one arm and balancing a basket of wet eggs and soggy candy with the other. I swear, he had webbed feet!

This year the bunny coated the eggs with fluorescent paint. It makes the eggs easier to find under the two feet of snow that covered the front lawn. That glow-in-the-dark paint isn't a bad idea. The electricity has been off so much lately, that I use the eggs as markers to find my way around the house at night when the powers out.

Does anyone else have the trouble I do when the AC-DC stops flowing? When it happens to me, I can't remember what lights or appliances were on. Is the light switch supposed to be up for lights to be on, or down I ask myself.  I invariably get my answer at 3AM when the whole house begins churning: radio blaring, coffee perking, dryer humming and thumping with the tennis shoes I forgot, the television screen glowing and of course, every light in the house is on.

Each time this happens I vow to be more observant but I always forget. Come to think of it, no wonder there was a power outage -- I'll be my house was drawing all the power in the country!

-GRANNY