Newspapers

I just don't see how anyone can get along without newspapers. They are probably the most appreciated item around the house - though not necessarily for what is printed on their pages.

Since the first daily newspaper was published in Philadelphia in 1774, the American housewife has been unable to find a better substitute. Every mother knows the value of a rolled up newspaper for swatting the behinds of unruly children - potty training the dog - and chasing creepy crawly things out of the kitchen. What else lines dresser drawers so nicely, then makes you want to faint when you discover the paper you are removing from the drawers was printed over thirty years ago?

Grandma was never without her neatly folded newspaper fan on a hot day - after mopping the kitchen floor and spreading paper to keep it clean.

When our family spent weekends at the old fishing cabin, newspapers were a must. Not only did we start the fire with them, but stuffed cracks in the wall to keep the wind out and covered cots with a few layers to keep the cold off our spines. (This was called "having a good time"...)

I wouldn't know how to transport all my valuable dishes from house to house, at moving time, without good old newspapers for the wrapping. Windows shine sparkling clean when wiped with newspapers - especially ones that have smeary ink.

In emergencies, newspapers serve for tablecloths, blankets - you can really keep warm under a layer or two - paper hats keep the sun off your nose and even an emergency diaper can be provided by newspaper (probably the first disposable type.)

Animal trainers use tons of paper. Christmas packages wrapped in the "funnies" serve the purpose and I have even seen some pretty good wallpaper jobs done in newsprint.

There are, mind you, a few hazards connected to newspapers. If you don't keep them stirred up and in use all the time, they ten to be rather prolific and multiply. I have seen a small pile of papers bloom overnight into tall pillars that resemble the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  A lot of credit for making a newspaper what it is today goes to the old country doctor. According to the movies, the first thing he did upon arriving at his patients house, was to boil water and assemble clean newspapers.

I hope this little article will help you find uses for your backlog of newspapers. If all else fails, you can always bundle them up and return them to the paper company, where they start their "Life Process" all over again.

-GRANNY