Single

(Originally published May 19, 1982)

Language is the means by which we communicate with each other and I don't know another language other than English, where one word can have so many connotations.

Take the word SINGLE - more often than not, it is associated with multiple persons, places or things .... It is sort of like being alone in a crowd....

This being "alone in a crowd" starts early on in life. Our first taste of this happens in the nursery of the maternity ward when we are surrounded by other screaming, squirming single entities (except in the case of Siamese twins) and on to kindergarten where we are lined up SINGLE file for fire drill time.

There are SINGLE family dwellings that sometimes house a multitude of people and when renting a SINGLE motel room, you almost always end up with two double beds. Speaking of beds, you know twin beds are just a pair of singles.....

SINGLES CLUBS and SINGLES BARS are so crowded you couldn't be alone if you wanted to, and if you wanted to be alone, you sure wouldn't be at gatherings of SINGLES.

In sports, a SINGLE in a ball game is really a team effort to score and a SINGLES tennis match is played by two people.

Music has even pitched a tune for the SINGLE, like "I wish I were SINGLE again", which tells us the party of the first part is sort of sorry they joined with the party of the second part. Barbara Mandrell's rendition of "Sleeping SINGLE in a Double Bed" could be taken for an invitation...

I know lots of SINGLE parents with multiple offspring, whose offspring are noted for the quote "There isn't a SINGLE good thing to eat in the refrigerator" and speaking of eating, the food industry has even capitalized by producing SINGLE servings. As my luck runs, I open can of "soup for one" and immediately hoards of people materialize - forcing me to open all the remaining SINGLE serving foods I have in stock.

Well, by now I am sure I have thoroughly confused you, but you know, there isn't a SINGLE thing I can do about it.

-GRANNY