Lists

(Originally published May 5, 1983)

People who are so organized and have a list for everything they do, both amaze and amuse me. I admire them more than they will ever know. In my mind, I am the best "list" maker in the world - but the worst "list" follower. To me, lists are sort of like promises, some you keep and follow and some you don't.

Take the grocery list for example. I have a notepad fastened to the front of the refrigerator (with those little magnetic clips that look like pigs) and faithfully jot down all the supplies needed as they are depleted. Somehow, the list never makes it to the grocery store and I guess that is why I have fifteen pounds of sugar and not one pound of flour in my pantry. Anyone who can enter a food market with list in hand and then emerge with only those items on the list, must have iron-clad willpower. How could they pass up the bargain of the day - six cans of "mackerel" for the price of three! It is such a good buy, even if I can't stand it (and neither can my cat.)

Sometimes making lists can be fun. When a new baby is expected, every name in the dictionary usually makes the list, then is crossed off, one at a time - ending up with a John Doe, Jr., but it was fun thinking of all the exotic names.

Then we have the WEDDING list - Oh, what a headache... I have seen the smallest intimate family wedding turned into the affair of the year, and it had to be held in the local stadium -- all because of the list, inviting their best friend, cousin, or neighbor. Where do you stop without offending anyone???

The Christmas list is the most frustrating one to me. I spend months compiling a list for family members and close friends, carefully noting the exact size, color or article just right for each. When I actually get to the shopping bit, it seems every other person in the country has copied my list and the stores are "sold out" so I wad up the carefully prepared sheets of paper, toss them in the trash and start out from ground zero.

List have been around from the beginning of time. Archaeologists spend years trying to decipher the writing on the walls of caves of prehistoric man - but any mother or wife can tell you, it is just an ordinary everyday run-of-the-mill list -- don't forget to pick up Jr. at the tar pits -- wash bear skin for prom and get two dinosaur eggs.

Last but not least, is a list we tend to forget more often than not. A list of "DO's" and "DON'Ts" that cover almost any situation in which you might find yourself. If we would carry this list with us, we sure could avoid lots of trouble, "The TEN COMMANDMENTS".

-GRANNY