Mother's Day

(Originally published April 28, 1982)

It doesn't take a lot of skill or know-how to become a biological parent (the most under-developed nations are full of them), BUT it takes lots of love - patience - understanding - and sometimes tears, to become worthy of the beautiful title in the world MOTHER.

Now, MOTHERS come in all sizes (tall, medium, and short), (fat, skinny and just right), and colors (black, brown, white, red, and yellow.) Some have "happy" dispositions. Some, after a hard day with a bunch of kids, have lousy dispositions. Some are strict ("No. you cannot stay out all night after the Prom"). Some are lenient ("Sure. Invite the whole graduating class over for breakfast!"). Some of us are MOTHERS by choice - and some are just victims of circumstance.

What constitutes a good "MOTHER"? I'm sure I don't know. If you would ask 500 children that question - you would get 500 different answers and here are just a few:

A GOOD MOTHER IS . . .

One who makes sure you always have clean sox in the drawer (and they match). 
One who will blow on a cut while putting iodine on it. 
One who cooks one tiny fish ( minnow size). 
One who cries with you when you bury your pet snake. 
One who can find a whole shoestring one minute before the bus comes. 
One who gives you an Easter Basket, and you just turned 29. 
One who is nice to your friends, even the weird ones. 
One who will paint your room the school color - purple. 
One who thinks you are pretty or handsome, even when you are sure you aren't. 
One who swats you on the "B .. "when you are wrong, then hugs you for no reason at all. 
One who is there when you need her, and stands back when you don't without getting her feelings hurt. 

All mothers aren't great - but let's face it - neither are all children. Some mothers I know must have attained "saint hood" to put up with the things their children did. I'm sure Whistler's Mother never would have never him a paint brush if she had known he was going to paint that lousy picture of her. Henry Ford's mother must be proud to know Hank liked her cooking so well, he named a car after it (Pinto).

Now President Reagan's mother has a right to be upset - never did she think he would call his wife "Mommie". Lillian Carter must have been mortified when she heard Billy still wasn't "potty trained". And if Mrs. Franklin hadn't been a lenient Mom and let little Benjamin play out in the rain with his kite, we still would be eating dinner and watching TV by candlelight. Elizabeth Taylor's Mom, I am sure, didn't mean it when she said, "When at first you don't succeed, try, try, again". The "Mona Lisa's" mom is probably still wondering why "Mona" has such a smile on her face. Mrs. Graham didn't know what she was saying when she yelled, "For Heaven's sake, Billy, will you quit talking" - or maybe she did. Bo Derek's mom just knew she wouldn't make it in business, she could only count to 10.

Just leave you with one thought, "LOVE" the Mother you have. They only come one to a customer and there are no refunds or exchanges.

-GRANNY